As we inch toward the conclusion of our 2020 election, you might notice that your mindset has entered Karpman's Drama Triangle. (1) This concept is a social model of human interaction during a conflict. It recognizes that, in stressful situations, our mind will develop an inner narrative about the problem. In it, we will cast those involved, including ourselves, into one of three roles: heroes, villains, and victims.
Take a moment to self-reflect. Who did you cast in each role as you endured 2020 or waited for election results? Politicians? Parties? Friends? Family Members? Neighbors?
When you reflect upon your cast of characters, you probably feel justified. "There is evidence that the label fits," you might say. I'm not here to tell you that you're wrong. I'm merely saying that according to the theory, your label is incomplete.
Think about it this way. Due to your political leanings, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, at least one person in your orbit has recently given you one of those labels. Does the label fit? Is it complete? Probably not. Because, here's the truth: There are no villains; There are no victims; There are no heroes. There are just a whole lot of human beings walking around--each of us with a little villain, a little victim, and a little hero inside.
So when those who differ from you come onto your radar, lose the label. Instead, think of them the way you want them to think of you--as a person, a complex, multi-faceted human being.
United, we stand.
Want to learn more about the drama triangle? Check out this great article at joyofconflict.com.
(1) “Karpman Drama Triangle - Wikipedia.” Wikimedia Foundation, Inc., 10 June 2015, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle.
I suppose 2020 is the year to deliver a drawn-out, nail-biting conclusion to our presidential election. If you feel stressed as you wait for results, you are not alone. There will be time for reflection, learning lessons, rising strong, and dealing with whatever is in front of us. But today, just breathe. Take care of your heart and soul as you move consciously through this uncertainty. Go ahead, do it now.
Take a deep, slow breath.
Inhale all the way to the bottom of your belly.
Then, sigh it out.
You'll be ok. We'll be ok. We're Americans. We know how to rise like the phoenix from the ashes. We will rise.
Hi. I’m Alison Ross, founder of Non-Dieting Health in Agoura Hills, California. I’m a licensed psychotherapist and neurofeedback practitioner specializing in eating and body image. My favorite things are my family, my dogs, yoga and working with my clients.